Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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