I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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