I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
