the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
