we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
