the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
