Where is the hickey?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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