I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
