Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
