In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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