Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
