Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
