I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
