Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
