After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
