who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
