The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
