A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
