I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
