I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
