Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
