I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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