yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
