i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
