I want to stick my p in your. b.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
