We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
