so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
