This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
