So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
