Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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