1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
