i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
