Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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