I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
