In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
