i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
