The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
then he tried to convert me to islam
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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