Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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