Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize