I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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