It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
BRING THE BAGELS
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
