dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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