Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize