he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
