the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
