woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
