I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
