Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
