Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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