dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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