Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
