Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
